You Say I Am...

Recently, while I was driving my daughter to school I stumbled upon a song on the radio called, "You Say" by Lauren Daigle. Do you sometimes listen to songs on the radio and it's kind of like background noise? Or you don't really pay attention to the lyrics and just bop to the beat because it has good rhythm? Well I typically put the radio on as background noise and my kids like listening to music but on this particular day my daughter started humming and imitating the words for the lyrics. She even caught the echo portion of the song and I thought it was cute. But it stopped me on my tracks to actually listen to the words. As I carefully listened and absorbed the lyrics I felt like it was speaking to me or more like it could've been something I wrote.

Here are the lyrics:
______________

I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I'm not enough
Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up
Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low?
Remind me once again just who I am because I need to know

You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
And You say I am held when I am falling short
And when I don't belong, oh You say I am Yours
And I believe, oh I believe
What You say of me
I believe

The only thing that matters now is everything You think of me
In You I find my worth, in You I find my identity

You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
And You say I am held when I am falling short
And when I don't belong, oh You say I am Yours
And I believe, oh I believe
What You say of me
Oh, I believe

Taking all I have and now I'm laying it at Your feet
You have every failure God, and You'll have every victory

______________

I've struggled with the fear of what people think and with not feeling good enough for most of my adult life. I don't think it was a particular event that happened in my life that brought me to that place but it was a series of little disappointments in life where I let the lies seep into my thoughts and started to believe these things about me were true.

Fear is so paralyzing and debilitating. There were many times it kept me from living in the fullness of joy, from accessing and utilizing my gifts and from seeking deeper relationships. Because I was so knee deep in fear I believed that I would never measure up or be good enough in anything so I didn't try a lot of things. I didn't put myself out there. I avoided things I knew deep down in my heart I wanted to do but didn't because of the fear of failing, of feeling disappointed and fear that people would think less of me. Even as I write this these lies totally don't make sense (and they're so not true!) but when you're in thick of it, when reality is clouded, they feel like daggers of truth.

Currently, I'm entering a season where doors have been opening up in areas that I've had a heart and desire for. It's exciting and I'm ready to dive in. At the same time it's been a season of facing my fears and fighting those lies head on. It's a lot of realizing and reminding myself that even though I may never measure up, or even if I fall short that I'm good enough in God's eyes because He's the one that made me so He can't be disappointed in His own creation. That I'm good enough and loved despite my failures, my shortcomings or my circumstances. I've been accepting and allowing God to build up my foundation to face not just my fears but any curveballs life throws at me. Trust me it's a daily battle and one where I have to put on my armor every morning before I start my day but it's amazing what freedom in knowing who you are feels like and living daily in His grace. 

If you're struggling with not feeling good enough or you're living in fear just know that you're not alone and you are loved, you are enough, you are worthy and you are perfect because He says you are. That's absolute. Protect and guard your heart from the lies. Identify what they are and speak truth over them. I hope that this song speaks to your heart.